Pessimistic Perspective on Time Equation

I am in need of mathematical assistance, and perhaps a moment of your time. This could be incredibly simple math, or something complex. I’m pretty good at figuring out percentages, but I believe I learned that in the fourth grade. Please help me create an equation for this idea on the pessimistic perspective of time.

The premise is simple. When you are young, a year is a long time. If you are 8 years old, then a year is an 1/8 of your life. (Or even a 1/4, if taken into consideration you’re cognizance of time may have begun when you were 4, but I’ll leave that out.) When you are 32, as I am, then a year is a 1/32 of your life. So my perception of time is going four times faster than when I was 8? Is this correct because 4 years would be an 1/8 of my life at this point? Ok, I’m losing myself here.

The perception of time is subjective. I probably should have started with that. And since you were a kid, adults have been saying that time just goes faster and faster as you live, which my rudimentary second paragraph has started to examine. In a pessimistic way–every day you live, your perspective of the passing of time is increasing. Especially once you work 40-hours a week. All of a sudden it’s Monday. Then bam it’s Thursday. At work people say hopeful things about enjoying the weekend, but BAM then it’s Monday. Then it’s Thursday. Monday. Friday. 6-months. A year. 5-years. 10-years. Then you’re 64 and 8 years is an 1/8 of your life. Does this passing of time feel like going from age 7 to 8? As going from age 7 to 8 seemed quite significant and life changing at that time, based of my perspective of time.

Of course there are variables to be considered in the equation, such as if you work 40-hours a week, which most adults do. And possibly your level of happiness and health, as when you are in physical or emotional pain, time will go painfully slow. Yet when you are happy times goes incredibly fast. Yet when you look back, the moments of time’s slowing because of miscellaneous pain, or time’s accelerating because of joy, just blur into the overall scheme of time. And it seems incredibly fast and building. The inertia of it. The sperm meets the egg and the ball is pushed down a slight slope that is every increasing in steepness, accelerating the inertia of our lives until we’re old and then dead. At this point the inertia–ball rolling down the ever steepening hill–has stopped rolling. (Or possibly it resets at the top of another slope, if we take into consideration the idea of reincarnation. Or that the energy and inertia continues into the next life, if we take into consideration the idea of karma.)

I imagine the equation like a triangle (wait is that an equation, confused?), so that we must consider the subject (x) and the age which would create the subjective perspective on time. This is a right triangle, maybe. (x) would be the height of the triangle because that would create the steepness of top of the triangle, so that as (x) became taller the steepness would become steeper. The bottom line of the triangle would be… hmm? This seems like Pythagorean theorem, or something. Shit! All I know is (x) is always changing. Or shit, would (x) be the steepness of the triangle? Because you’re trying to figure out (x), right? Well, if the bottom line of a right-triangle was one year , then the vertical line of the triangle could be the years lived, and (x) would be the slope of your perspective on time?

Is this idiotically simple? I really just would like to make a Pessimistic Perspective of Time Equation or triangle/graph regarding. That shit could go viral. Or not.