American Idol is Awesome!

My obsession with American Idol was slow in coming. I remember the first season being discussed at work, how that Justin-guy was so cute, but couldn’t sing. And I actually like a fair amount of Kelly Clarkson songs. In my opinion “Since You’ve Been Gone” had an Indy Rock flair, and first hearing it on the radio, I had no idea it was Kelly Clarkson.  Writing “Kelly Clarkson” makes me think about The 40-Year Old Virgin when he gets his chest waxed and yells out “Kelly Clarkson!” And if “Since You’ve Been Gone” came on the radio, I could rock out to it. Kelly Clarkson can sing.

My next encounter with American Idol was in 2005. I befriended a gay friend at work, and he invited me into his group. They would get together on Wednesday nights, get drunk, stoned, eat some casserole and talk shit on the contestants. I can’t recall any of the show, but remember laughing at their caddy shit-talking.

It must have been 2008 when my love of the show solidified. This seems the year of Adam Lambert and the other guy that won the show that was nice and could sing, but only won because the middle-America voting populous was possibly homophobic, and liked the Kris-guy better. He was good, but Adam Lambert should have won. Or was that 2009. Not sure. The next year it was the Davids’ that squared off. David Achuleta and David Cook. I thought David Achuleta could sing better, but this Utah or Idaho teenager didn’t have the self-knowledge that the mid-20′s David Cook did. David Cook had a combo of swagger and humility that made him a working-class hero (this maybe a stretch), and was the type of guy you’d want to drink a beer with. Have a laugh.

The 2010 season, I would make a point of getting home on time to watch. I would want to talk to anybody about American Idol. Luckily my girlfriend was living with me by this time, so we could discuss this. But at work, I would come in pumped up about last nights American Idol, and would have no one to talk to about it. I was proud of my love for American Idol. I literally yearned to discuss it with people. It is the ultimate escape. I forget almost everything else in the world, and I’m sucked in for an hour, or an hour and a half, whatever.

But the 2010 season lacked some. The contestants that I liked were voted off. Damn teenage voting populous. But I still loved it. I missed Paula, who at first annoyed me, but then I became fond of her. I’m also not sure if she left the year before or not, but that’s beside the point. What I liked about Paula Abdul’s, possibly xanax’d or painpill popping slurred comments, was her huge heart. She’d cry and dance and she was fucking sincere. She was the heart of the show. And I even liked Simon. Even though he was suppose to be the hard-ass, he had a big heart too.  Ellen who replaced Paula was funny, and Keira was cool enough, though she seemed to have some power issues at play. And Randy was/is cool in a humble/swaggering way.

The winner of the 2010 season was slightly disappointing also. Not to fault Lee DeWyze because I liked him, and he sang his ass off. He just didn’t have that pop star swagger. He was a guy who could front a good band that could make an album, get some radio play, but he was no “American Idol.” The final three all didn’t have the swagger. Crystal Bowersox kicked ass, but her hippy sheik kind of turned me off. I’m a bit of a hippy myself, but that doesn’t mean I want it in an “American Idol.” And Casey James could play the guitar like a motherfucker and sing pretty good, but he wasn’t a front man. He was a great musician who was a good looking guy that they kind of played on in an uncomfortable way with Keira (I realize I’m probably misspelling her name).

At the end of the 2010 season, the show was up-in-the air, a bit. Paula had already left, but she was a bit histrionic. But when Simon announced he was leaving the show, this shook the American Idol populous some. Bloggers commented on the lack of ratings. That for the first time, the show had competition. And now without Simon, what would happen? Well I’ll tell you, I watched last night and my faith was restored! Steven Tyler is a great replacement for Simon because he obviously kicks ass. He can sing like an opera singer, and he’s a bit of a hard-ass, but sweet too. Also humble as he made a comment about “being ready for the big time” for the contestants and the judges. He was blunt with the contestants when being blunt was needed. He jabbed at outfits. He made lustful eyes and flirted with 16-year-olds, which oddly didn’t seem weird, as I thought how young and child-like 16-years-old look and that I’m twice their age. And then I felt kind of old. But Steven Tyler could be pervy because he’s a dirty rocker, but a sweet rocker too. It didn’t seem pervy, whatever.

And Jennifer Lopez was a good add because she is a pop star. She’s not some great singer, but she is a performer/dancer/actress/singer with aid of studio, and really being a pop star takes more than singing. I liked her comments and positive heart.  Women can have swagger too, and she has it.

And Randy was the cornerstone this house was built on, or one of the three. Or one of the two cornerstones because Paula was more like a crumbling pillar than a cornerstone, but I still love ya Paula!

Now I like once they get to the top 12 the best, so we’ve yet to see if these new judges will step up, but I have faith. Watching the early auditions makes me feel good and bad, as the show profiles these delusional people who think they can sing, but suck beyond a doubt. It makes me start to question my own dreams, as if I’m some delusional Don Quixote myself, without the book to validate my delusion. And then they have the hard luck stories. Like the great 16-year-old singer from Stanton Island whose dad just cleared his throat cancer who got sent to Hollywood, or the 16-year-old from the Bronx whose family was in a shelter until recently, and he wanted to help his family. He could sing like a motherfucker and was sent to Hollywood, so I was stoked. That’s how they left the show. With me feeling stoked.

And one more thing, Ryan Seacrest is so soothing on TV. He is watched by millions, and everyone takes a deep breath and relaxes because he is the least awkward person ever. He is the living embodiment of a xanax.